It is 5:30 AM, the 13th of June, 2021.
And my whole life thus far
just flashed by in front of me.
I am in nothing but shame.
I am in nothing but awe and wonder,
almost euphoria.
What have I not done?
What have I not "achieved"?
Growing up, I was a star kid.
I could never get enough of being challenged.
Competition wins, multiple degrees, and accolades...
...both in the fields of Academia as well as in Sports.
To this day, my Mother, holds them near and dear.
If you visit my home in India,
you will find them still decorated.
And my Mother will still show
them to you with an overtly
motherly pride.
The degrees and rewards
typed up in majestic fonts on
a document called "resume" did
allow me some beautiful experiences.
It allowed me to travel, explore,
live in least-affordable cities,
eat and drink in class,
mingle and socialize,
date and party.
It allowed me to work for
corporations big and small,
established and upcoming,
local and global.
It allowed me
to be the causes of many effects,
and the seeds of many fruitful projects.
Do not misunderstand.
I am not illusioned by self-praise.
I am not announcing my victory.
I am only setting up the
stage to announce...
my defeat.
And moreover,
the nation of India,
has countless others with
more than double the number
of degrees, rewards, and accolades.
Because as of this very moment,
right as the memories of the experiences faded away,
the Truth stands stark and nonchalant...
The degrees, rewards, accolades
have only caused me pain.
And pain alone.
They have only taken.
They have only made me give it up
in the name of service and morality.
They have only made me beg and try.
They have only made me...
Suffer.
Every sheet of paper,
Every offer, every invitation,
and every other step in the ladder,
Every single ladder in the process,
Every single process and proceedings of the process
have been an illusion.
An illusion of
"something better".
An illusion of
"the next level"
An illusion of
"good, great, phenomenal."
But,
the blatant irrelevance of
e v e r y t h i n g
is hitting me hard
Today.
Yes, yes, you will defend -
That is why you got where you are.
That is why you became who you became.
That is why you could afford the very laptop
you are typing these words on.
But could your explanations be any more misguided?
Because you are only responding
to what you have been told.
Because you have no idea
of the other side
of my life.
I am where I am...
I "have" what I have...
I could do what I did...
... all because of that other side.
More on that other side later.
I must first continue.
Does my story sound all that different?
There is a very high probability
that yours is similar to it.
Heck, there is a very high probability
that yours is exactly like it.
You know why?
Because of a very simple Truth...
All,
I repeat,
ALL human beings,
are after the same thing.
I, you, and every other human being.
You, your mother, your father, your friends,
your siblings, your boss,
your favorite Cafe's owner, his family,
your nation's president, its prime minister, and all other ministers,
and their families and their friends.
Every one of them has to this day,
lived craving ONE thing.
That ONE thing has been behind
all their decisions - right or wrong,
all their actions - just or unjust,
all their motives - selfish or altruistic,
all their needs and desires - moral or immoral.
That ONE thing,
put simply,
is the driver of the "engine of the world."
The life people think I have lived,
the life projected by my degrees, rewards, and resume
is awashed in blatant ignorance and absolute uselessness
because
it not only kept me from realizing this ONE thing,
but has pushed me away from it.
All the ways that I insulted
"my life"
are justified
only because in catering to "my life"
I was kept from that ONE thing.
The only reason I wrote what I wrote,
The only reason it took barely any effort in doing so,
The only reason "I" was not even there as the words
appeared magically,
and the only reason,
I will do what needs to be done for the rest of my life,
is because of the existence of the other side of my life.
The other side,
which I will not mask by delving into specifics of,
did the exact opposite thing of what "my life" did.
It
always, always, always,
brought me home - closer and closer to the ONE thing.
It has done so selflessly
without being asked or begged or prayed to.
Again, in the exact opposite manner of "my life".
No matter what you think you have,
No matter who you think you are,
No matter what you think you have done,
No matter what everyone will ever make of you,
I will say with 200% confidence -
You also have a
other side.
You may already know it.
But you may be awaiting "motivation" to devote fully to it.
You may be awaiting the "right time".
You may be "thinking" or "planning".
See the quotes around the words?
That implies they are baseless and futile - they do not exist.
The full commitment and devotion
can happen Today.
Perhaps you think you are fully devoted,
but really you are under the grips of someone else.
Perhaps under your nation or coach or team.
Perhaps under your own soul-torturing ego.
If that is the case, oh dear athlete or artist,
you are yet to experience your practice fully and freely.
And lose yourself in the ever-welcoming and absorbing,
other side.
Perhaps you have no clue of that other side.
All you have known is work or struggle or pleasing others.
All you have done is run - from yourself, from others,
for yourself or others.
And I will still reveal - there is a way.
There is a way to make what you are already doing,
your other side.
People will say I am lucky in having this other side.
People will say only I could do what I did and will do.
People will say - "Aah ... it is you. You are different"
I will acknowledge the place they are speaking from,
but refute their statement.
Luck does not exist.
I am different, yes,
but not in the sense you think of or these words project.
I am perhaps, the least of men.
Physically, I am a mere 170 cm.
Mentally,
in today's world where more and more kids
are lined up to be programmers and puzzle-solvers,
the hard truth is that someone like me is just above average.
And if that is not enough,
I will openly admit to having seen, spoken to, and heard of
many other humans gifted both in mental and physical prowess.
To augment by refutal,
I will ask - why are these humans still lost?
Luck does not exist.
No one is different.
Yes, one man is 6ft4 and weighs 220lbs.
The other man is 4ft11 and weighs 110lbs.
Yes, one woman is jaw-droppingly beautiful.
The other woman is not even noticed.
Yes, one human is sharp and on-point.
The other is slow, dumb, and unsure.
But are these not external perceptions?
These are what I (or you) will make of them.
How does that affect in any way
what these humans themselves are?
Or feel, not on hearing what others say,
but deep in their bones?
Luck does not exist.
Superficiality is least relevant. (Often detrimental
in cases when it is too flashy and attention-demanding.)
The real gift lies deep beneath.
The real magic awaits to be discovered.
The real enablement craves to be enabled.
After all
this gift,
this magic,
this enablement...
is that ONE thing.
Thank you.